The Hatch: Toots

Dear reader,

This week I am forsaking The Metropolis to venture into the green and leafy forests of East Sussex and I now draw your attention, if I may, to a glorious little pub tucked away in the woods where Winnie the Pooh was accustomed to wander.

Stepping into the Hatch in Coleman’s Hatch is like stepping into a bygone age. The ceilings, so low that a bumped forehead is genuine risk, are festooned with hops and the warm glow from candles and the lights at the bar create an atmosphere that is hard to abandon.

The building itself is a conversion of three cottages that date back to 1430 and it feels as though little has changed. In the summer there are three outdoor areas to sip fine Sussex ales whilst in the winter people pack into the pub where the smell of fine beer and excellent food combines with the sound of pints being poured and the welcoming roar of the clientele.

One of the locals that frequents this fine country pub is a tree surgeon named Toots. With a roguish glint in his eyes and pint of Larkin’s in his calloused, oil-smeared hand, Toots is a regular fixture at the Hatch. A tree surgeon by trade it is Toots' hobby that has earned him his nickname.




Toots owns a steamroller from the 19th century, a great mechanical monster that runs on coal and travels at about five miles an hour if it's going downhill. Toots cares for this mighty engine with diligence and love and in the summer months drives her to country fairs and events.


On one such occasion I was invited along for the ride and so, flatcap perched on my head, I went with him. It took a few hours of burning wood and coal for the water to turn to steam and power the engines. It took many more hours to reach the fairground, stopping as we did at the occasional pub on the way, but throughout the trip Toots was patient and keen to impart his remarkable knowledge over the deafening roar of the engine.


It was a trip that I shall never forget and would never have gone on were it not for Toots and his deep commitment to the endangered world of traction engines and steam rollers.


The Hatch's is in East Sussex and its post code is TN7 4EJ.

The Cittie of York: Simon Smith

Good evening to you, merry quaffer.

Tonight we return to London, to the Cittie of York on High Holborn, home to London's longest bar. This enormous establishment with a ceiling as high as a cathedral's, is run by the Samuel Smith's brewery from Tadcaster so one is assured of a half decent pint at a price that is to be welcomed by the less affluent among us though the wine is best left unsampled.

The place echoes with the laughter and chatter of a hundred voices but smaller, more intimate rooms and cubby holes exist as well for a quieter drink. Huge oak barrels balance above the bar while the great wooden beams in the roof lend a Tudor air to this venerable old pub.

Twas here that I met by chance another remarkable fellow, a chap called Simon Smith. He was embedded in a huge group of bikers, almost all of whom were wearing various T-shirts depicting the logo, global enduro. Curious, I wandered over to inquire what it represented.

These cheerful men, with their fine moustaches and admirable bellies, dragged me over to their leader: Simon. Having introducing himself to me, this lean, shaven-headed man took a pull of his Alpine Lager and told me all.

Simon spent many years of his life working just down the road from the Cittie of York as an investment banker, raking in unimaginable sums of money. But about ten years down the line he grew unsatisfied with the job, feeling that he really wasn’t making much difference for good in the world.

So he packed it all in and started down a new path in 2002 and hasn’t looked back since. Global enduro arranges exhilarating and challenging journeys across some of the most beautiful and breathtaking landscapes in the world. Primarily motor bikes are used but there are trips that use skidoos, huskies, Land Rovers and even 1950s cars.

From the Arctic Circle to the Himalayas, the African bush to the Cambodian jungles, Simon takes over 1,000 people a year on these trips, donating £1,000,000 a year to charities that help the countries they explore. Open to all comers, Simon had the honour of taking Prince William and Harry on a trip as well as a pavement artist.

I have never met someone with the fearlessness, utter sense of freedom and the joy that comes from doing something truly wonderful before or since Simon and, were it not for my total inability to ride a motorbike, I may well have signed up to head out on the next trip to Africa right then and there.

The Cittie of York is to be found on 22 High Holborn